


There is no U in Endgame but there is in Dum-E

by Kimra



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Ending, Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Canon Divergence - Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Crack, DUM-E is best bot, Gen, Mini Fic, Tony Stark Lives, Tony's eldest saves the day
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-24
Updated: 2019-08-24
Packaged: 2020-09-05 22:41:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 498
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20281045
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kimra/pseuds/Kimra
Summary: Dum-E saves the day in Endgame





	There is no U in Endgame but there is in Dum-E

**Author's Note:**

  * For [tuesday](https://archiveofourown.org/users/tuesday/gifts).

> Welcome to crackvile.  
Population: This fic.

How Dum-E even got on the battlefield only Strange could tell you, and he was so busy being married to cryptic responses and spending quality time with his cape that even asking was likely to cause a headache. The important thing is that Dum-E does make it onto the battlefield. Thanos’ time travel army, because that’s a thing now, is sprawled across the field, space whales falling and maiming in succession, six-legged alien monsters that bleed blue are throwing themselves at the Avengers like the Avengers are a pass-the-parcel party treat and they’re desperate to get to the centre as fast as possible. It, fortunately, makes them super inefficient, but their numbers do make them annoying and a hindrance.

Dum-E seems oblivious to this as he rolls on across the debris, occasionally stopping mid-roll to let a duelling Avenger and random alien opponent barge past before it chirps a little happy song and keeps on rolling.

When Strange raises his finger, either pointing to the sky, or to indicate that whatever happens in the next moment is the turning point, the one in however-many-million chance they have of winning this mess Tony has time for one selfish momentary desire to not have to die then he puts on his big boy pants and dives at Thanos.

And when Thanos clicks and nothing happens, he’s confused. And when Tony clicks and nothing happens, he’s just as confused. They both stare at each other, gloves bare of infinity stones, and realise that somehow they’ve misplaced the things. What was an epic battle finale becomes a sudden scramble to try and find the six most powerful artefacts in the entire universe and that’s when Tony spots Dum-E. Dum-E who should be at home with Morgan haphazardly trying to do the dishes even though he and Pepper have tried multiple times to make him stop going into the kitchen. But instead Dum-E is propped in the middle of the most important fight in the universe, little buzz in its engine, little three claws flexing, wrapped up in stark nano tech, and hosting six glowing infinity stones.

“Dum-E no!” Tony cries out and struggles to his feet just as Thanos lumbers towards the robot. But it doesn’t matter what Tony wants, or what Thanos plans, because Dum-E twists his little robot claws just right and Snaps.

The world rights itself in a way it really shouldn’t as far as Tony’s science suggests. But Strange smiles enigmatically and declares it a win, and Dum-E is slightly shinier, with better wheels and is maybe taller than it was before, but the bad guys are gone, and technically Tony saved the day, so that’s all okay with him.

Tony makes it a priority to get Dum-E back to the house, and as they go he tells it, “You really are the second-best thing I ever made.” And Dum-E doesn’t mind being second, because Morgan makes it hats and no-one gets angry when it breaks things anymore.


End file.
